Simpsons Did It!: “Four Great Women And A Manicure”

Wait, another anthology?  And with four stories?  They usually stop at three.

Marge even says so.

Marge is taking Lisa for a manicure, despite Lisa’s objections about inner beauty being more important, and to pass the time,  they swap stories of powerful women.

Yeah, that’s about all these stories have in common.  The first is a real woman, Elizabeth I, and when Selma’s Queen turns down Spanish King Julio, she has to deal with the Armada.  Fortunately, Sir Walter Raleigh is back with the newest discovery of tobacco.  He and lady-in-waiting Marge seem to dig each other which upsets the Queen.  Um, which one is Elizabeth in love with?  No one knows.  But then Raleigh accidentally sets fire to his own ship, and when his ship hits the Spanish fleet, the very gay Julio realizes it wasn’t the flaming dreamboat he wanted, and the Armada burns down, so the Queen lets Raleigh marry Marge.

Yes, Homer was Walter Raleigh.

Then Lisa tells a more feminist version of Snow White, with herself as Snow White and her seven dwarves are Crabby (Moe), Drunky (Barney), Hungry (Homer), Greedy (Burns), Lenny, Kearney, and Doc(tor Hibbert).  It goes about the same as before, only the wicked queen forces Snow to eat the poison apple, the queen learns that the forest herbivores that were Snow’s friends are more dangerous than they looked, and a woman doctor uses medicine to wake up Snow White.  No prince.  That should keep Disney happy.  Ho-Hi indeed.

After that, Marge tells the story of Lady Macbeth, or more accurately, herself watching Homer appear in a local stage production of Macbeth as a tree.  He’s Sideshow Mel’s understudy, so Marge pushes Homer to bash Mel to death with his own bone.  Sure, Homer could just take acting lessons, or he could murder anyone in the play getting better reviews than him.  Those ghosts don’t take too kindly to Marge’s efforts and haunt her to death, but Homer finally has a good performance…you know, when he’s the only actor left alive and there’s no one in the audience.  When Marge suggests he play all of Shakespeare’s classic heroes, Homer kills himself and seems much happier as a ghost to the dismay of Marge.

How is that not a Halloween episode bit?

The last part has Maggie as a brilliant toddler architect at a day care that insists on mediocrity, based off Ayn Rand’s The Fountainhead.  Yeah, there’s a bit where Maggie delivers a speech on her creative output with the voice of guest star Jodie Foster, but I read Atlas Shrugged once and hated every page of it.

Point is, I’m done.  Bring on the season finale.

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