Simpsons Did It!: “Waverly Hills, 9-0-2-1-D’oh”

Lisa Simpson needs to make up her mind.  On the one hand, she wants to be challenged at school, but inevitably when she is, she finds it too intimidating and ends up wanting to go back to Springfield Elementary.

At least we can give Bart some credit: he knows what he wants out of life.

While out on a jog, Marge gets a bunch of free samples of “Science Water”.  All that really does is make her need to pee.  Where can she find a nearby free bathroom?  Springfield Elementary!  Where Bart and Mrs. Krabappel are both sleeping in class, other rooms are overcrowded with stacked desks and the kind of things we might see on a Halloween episode, and Miss Hoover has just attained tenure so she lets Ralph teach the class.  Marge is naturally upset, but Principal Skinner isn’t able to do much more than offer her a drink.  Plans to combine math with gym proceed apace.

What can Marge do about her kids’ education, aside from worry that “dodgebook” will actually happen?  Well, Milhouse has a cousin at Waverly Hills Elementary, a more upscale school in a richer neighborhood.  If the Simpsons rent a cheap apartment in that area, Bart and Lisa can attend the better school.  Homer finds a tiny apartment where not even the murphy bed can go down all the way, and off the kids go to a school with its own stables, class trips to Europe, and real meat at the cafeteria.  Even Waverly Hills’ version of Ralph speaks French.  It’s the kind of place Lisa feels is heaven.

There are a couple problems.  For one, the city inspector, a guy who looks an awful lot like the killer from No Country for Old Men, needs to check to make sure that the address Homer and Marge use is an actual residence for the kids, and Lisa is earning B+’s while being unpopular with the likes of Kaitlyn, Caitlyn, and Kate Lynn.  Lisa doesn’t even know who popular singer Alaska Nebraska is.

Bart, meanwhile, is doing just fine.  He managed to get arrested by Chief Wiggum in front of the whole school, and all he had to do was promise to attend Ralph’s birthday party.  Wiggum tried to make the same offer to the Springfield Mafia, but as soon as he mentioned “Batman” would be there, the mobsters panicked and ran away.

Granted, Bart doesn’t go, but that just ups his street cred when Wiggum comes by to arrest him for real.

But Bart does do Lisa a solid by spreading the very false rumor that she is Alaska Nebraska’s best friend.

All Lisa has to do after that is get her new classmates tickets to the sold-out show, or barring that, backstage passes.

Now, Lisa does manage to get to the dressing room to talk to Alaska Nebraska, guest voiced by Ellen Page.  And all that does is force her to reveal that she isn’t really friends with a big time pop star, and she’s soon running for her life as much as Bart was earlier from Wiggum and the cops.

As for Homer, he was using his new apartment as a bachelor pad for a college-aged guy and having Marge over like a couple of young things that just met.  Yes, Homer’s friends learn Marge does have a sister (two of them!) but Patty and Selma are not exactly what they thought.  Homer and Marge pass the inspection, but their kids want to go back to Springfield Elementary.  So, yeah, Lisa is inconsistent.

Bart knows himself.  Bart is at peace.  We should all be like the boy.

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