Simpsons Did It!: “Eeny Teeny Maya Moe”

Moe’s in love again?  That never ends well…

First, though, Homer has problems.  The problem this time is Maggie doesn’t seem to realize her father is not the dog.  To be fair, Santa’s Little Helper does take her out in her stroller and change her diapers.  Marge insists Homer spend time with Maggie, and that means taking her for a walk to the place he goes every morning.

That would be Moe’s.  He even has an assigned parking space there.

Inside, Moe is uncharacteristically cleaning the place up.  One dark patch reveals a window Moe forgot he had, and there’s a small playground next door where Homer can drop Maggie off to play with other babies.  That’s sweet.

The other babies are bullies.  That isn’t sweet.

But meanwhile, why is Moe cleaning up?  He met someone online, and she looks gorgeous in the photo she sent.  Heck, she thought Moe looked cute in his.  To each their own.  So, he has a date coming over.  And come over she does.  But she’s not something Moe expected.  She’s three feet tall.  A little person.  Now Moe likes this woman, named Maya, and he wants to treat her right which means squashing his natural impulse to say anything at all about her height and keeping her away from his friends/customers since they are the type who will mock someone for the slightest difference, such as how Homer can never remember how a limerick goes.

Homer also doesn’t notice how frightened his youngest is when he goes to pick her up.  That makes Marge suspicious when Maggie cowers in fear at home from all kinds of things and Homer, who’s been spending time with her, has no idea why.  Marge decides to plant a bug on Maggie to see what exactly Homer’s been up to with the baby.

She might have seen the bully babies except Moe arranged a double date with the Simpsons as the least judgmental friends he has, a stand-up gal and a falling-down drunk.  And it goes well.  Well enough that Moe will propose marriage, and Maya will make a joke about being Moe’s “little woman.”  Now, see, this is Moe, and he thinks that makes all the short jokes he’s been sitting on OK.  It does not.  Maya breaks up with him.

Depressed, Moe gets a bright idea to get surgery to make himself Maya’s height.  Dr. Hibbert won’t do that.  No licensed surgeon would.  Cue Dr. Nick…

But then Maya shows up to stop the surgery.  It seems she wanted a man who saw her as beautiful, and not as short, and Moe doesn’t get that, so it’s goodbye forever.

Homer also managed to stay out of trouble when Marge finally watched the recording and saw the bully babies.  Homer showed up to defend Maggie, but a particularly muscular toddler was smacking Homer around until Maggie herself intervened because Maggie always saves Homer.  And then Homer said some sweet stuff about Maggie and Marge forgave the whole thing.

So, then, it isn’t too surprising that Homer has a lesson for Moe.  See, Homer reasons if one woman could love Moe and make him feel better about himself, so could another woman.  Moe just needs to keep trying.  And Moe realizes that for a small woman, Maya made him feel very big.

That’s sweet.  Also, not funny.  Maybe we’ll have a funny ending tomorrow.

tomk74

Defender of the faith, contributing writer, debonair man-about-town.

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