Simpsons Did It!: “The Burns And The Bees”

In one corner, we have general do-gooder Lisa Simpson.

In the other, we have all-around bad dude Mr. Burns.

Who will survive a clash of such titans?

What brings our conflict to a head?  On Burns’ side, he’s attending the annual Billionaire’s Retreat, where the likes of Amazon founder and guest star Jeff Bezos may have peed himself or spilled his apple juice.  We’ll never know.  But at a high stakes poker game where Burns bets Smithers, he wins a basketball team, the Austen Celtics, from the Rich Texan.

On Lisa’s side, when Bart is challenged to dump a bee hive on some second graders, he does so.  Fortunately, there were no bees in the hive.  That’s really only fortunate for the second graders, and Lisa notes there are no bees anywhere to the consternation and dismay of local beekeeper Groundskeeper Willie.  Lisa can rouse Homer to action by letting him know there would be no honey in a world without bees, and that distopia is one Homer cannot ignore, and that means a trip to see Professor Frink.

Frink’s pheromones don’t seem to work on bees.  They attract attractive women offering complete financial support to the dorky scientist, but he’s not interested in that.  A queen bee does land on Lisa, which in turn attracts a beard of bees that Lisa will wear until such time as the bees can build a nest.

Meanwhile, Burns is inspired by the crazy antics of fellow billionaire and guest star Mark Cuban to try antics of his own to attract fans to his team, the Springfield Excitement.  That isn’t working because this is Burns we’re talking about.  What antics of his would any non-Smithers person want to see?

But since Marge doesn’t like the beard of bees, she finds an unused greenhouse by the local prison to keep Lisa’s bees in.  That seems to work out for everybody.

You know, until Burns decides that since antics don’t work, a new arena will, and to put it on top of Lisa’s bee sanctuary.

See, Lisa can plead to the better hearts and minds of the citizens of Springfield for leaving the planet a better place, and she’ll persevere.  Even Burns will say so.  Then he’ll mention skyboxes and a seven foot Eskimo on the team and greed will beat out Lisa every time.  Yes, we are living in a dream world where a billionaire can have an expensive project that only benefits the wealthy paid for entirely by local government.  What an age we live in.

Lisa, meanwhile, is depressed and upset, and it turns out that affects someone who isn’t Homer.  And it isn’t that giant Eskimo either.  She might be more depressed and upset if she knew his language and learned he kills whales for fun.

Enter Moe.

Moe has some bees.  His are aggressive and came from Africa by mistake, but he can mate them with Homer’s help to Lisa’s queen and produce some new bees and save the local bees.  But then Lisa notes these bees have certain “killer bee” qualities.  That…might be a bad thing.

It becomes worse when the bees get loose and swarm to Mr. Burns’ stadium that looks an awful lot like a giant beehive.  The bees run the place.  They steal Wiggum’s gun, take over the jumbotron, and swarm guest star Marv Albert’s microphone.

So, I guess Lisa won.  The whole thing cost Burns so much money, they tossed him out of the following year’s Billionaire’s Retreat to a nearby Millionaire’s Retreat.  He certainly didn’t like that.

Don’t mess with Lisa Simpson.

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: