Simpsons Did It!: “Papa Don’t Leech”

What’s this?  The return of Lurleen Lumpkin?  Who saw that coming?

This odd state of affairs comes when the Mayor unsuccessfully tries to embezzle town funds to pay Lisa for some Girl Scout cookies.  That’s what it would be if he tried to pay for cookies for himself using the town’s own treasury, right?  Why does no one call him on this?

Good thing the treasury is empty!

No, wait, that’s bad.  Only one thing to do:  fake a natural disaster and then get some big, fat, FEMA money!

Only the “FEMA inspector” was a con man who took even more of the town’s money.

They might as well collect back taxes for everybody on Quimby’s list that isn’t himself or Mr. Burns.  Take that, Milhouse!

This plan actually works for a change, and the treasury is soon full again.  There’s only one scofflaw left:  Lurleen Lumpkin (returning guest star Beverly D’Angelo).  She’s nowhere to be found unless you look in the back of Homer’s car.  And because Lurleen tried unsuccessfully to seduce Homer, a man who was far too oblivious to notice, Marge tosses her right back out.  But then she sees Lurleen is homeless and takes her back to the Simpson house.

What went wrong for Lurleen?  Her music went out of style, and she lost all her money to a succession of worthless husbands who all looked a lot like Homer.

What does she see in that man?

At any rate, Lurleen can’t bring herself to write any more songs until the family overhears her singing about missing her long departed daddy.  He ain’t dead.  He’s a deadbeat.  Big difference.

Marge manages to track the guy down by checking the remarkably large number of Lumpkins in the phone book.  Lurleen is in a huge funk.  She had to take a job at Moe’s, and she rejected advances from both Lenny and Carl.  Who does that?  And sure, Papa Lumpkin is wearing a “No Child Support” T-shirt, but he does come back to the Simpson house.  He and his daughter bond, and Lurleen even writes a catchy country song about it.

Then her dad sneaks off in the middle of the night.  Where did he go?  He took the song, modified the words a bit to appeal to Fox News viewers, and sold it to the Dixie Chicks, the other guest stars of the episode.  Now Lurleen can confront her daddy in public, and after tuning her guitar, she bashes it over her no-good daddy’s head.  And the Dixie Chicks weren’t too pleased with the guy either considering he stole a song from his own daughter, even if that did make him the most ethical manager in the music industry.

So, Papa Lumpkin got punished, Lurleen is going on tour opening for the Dixie Chicks with yet another Homer look-alike, and Marge can wish her a fond farewell.

And a death threat if Lurleen ever comes near Homer again.  Oh Marge…

tomk74

Defender of the faith, contributing writer, debonair man-about-town.

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