Simpsons Did It!: “The Wife Aquatic”

Holy crow…is this a Perfect Storm parody?  Were those still enough of a cultural milestone to make jokes about in 2007?

It’s movie time at the park, where Ned Flanders is running a silent movie, some sort of Keystone Cops type thing that showcases a cop seeing his own face on a wanted poster a crook just made up, and then committing suicide and going to Hell.  You know, hilarious family entertainment.  But when the film breaks, it’s up to of all people Patty and Selma to run some movies.

Hey, look, the twins brought Ling and Jub-Jub with them!

As it is, Patty and Selma have a filmstrip of their old childhood vacations to what looks like a wonderful seaside town called Barnacle Bay, and Marge goes all nostalgic with happiness upon seeing her younger self romping in the surf and riding a merry-go-round.  That gives Homer an idea.

That’s right!  He puts the home movies on video for Marge!

Then he gets another idea.

That’s right!  He burns the video onto Marge’s iPod!

But he screws that up, so he has yet-another idea.

That’s right!  He surprises Marge by taking her on a trip to Barnacle Bay with Bart and Lisa.

And everything is going so well until the ferry pulls into Barnacle Bay and…well, it’s kind of a dump now.  Everything is smelly and rotten and closed.  What happened?  Well, the island got by on the Yum Yum Fish, the tastiest fish in the sea, but they seem to be all gone now.  Lisa tries to lecture the local fisherman for overfishing, and he shuts her down by saying she’s starting to sound like Barnacle Bay’s Milhouse.  Yes, they know about Milhouse.

Anyway, Marge is depressed, so Homer does his best to fix things up, starting with the old merry-go-round.  He even sets up a fireworks display.

If you don’t think Homer running a fireworks display can’t somehow result in, say, a fire that burns down the pier including that restored merry-go-round, you have somehow never even heard of The Simpsons before.  What are you even doing here?

As it is, Homer’s going to have to work off the damage on a fishing boat, and since there aren’t any Yum Yum Fish to catch, that might take a while.  But Homer seems to be getting along with the crew until he’s asked to make dinner which is made up of bait.  He beer-battered the fish hooks.  It was not opposite day.  Or it was.  It depends.  The beer-battering actually allowed the boat to catch a record number of Yum Yum Fish.  Yay!

Oh wait, it’s a perfect storm.  Boo!

Quick, to the lifeboat!  Wait, there’s no lifeboat.  Bart was hiding in there.  What else was he going to do?  Sightsee with Marge and Lisa?

The storm’s bad.  The ship sinks.  A funeral is held for everybody on the boat, and only then does Marge realize Bart was missing.  And then all the missing men turn up right outside the church alive and well.  What happened?  Well, first Homer thought he saw a mermaid city, but that was a hallucination caused by strangulation in kelp while underwater.  Then the lot of them were scooped up by a Japanese fishing vessel.  Homer says something about fighting a whale too.  But hey, the Yum Yum Fish are back!

But then Lisa reminds everybody about what went wrong with the overfishing before.  So, the people of Barnacle Bay have to make a smart choice.  They don’t want to kill off all the fish again.

Instead, they start cutting down all the trees to make paper for porno magazines.

Yeah, that’s not much better.

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