Simpsons Did It!: “Kill Gil, Volumes I & II”

In this Christmas-themed episode of The Simpsons, Marge gets so mad she has to tell someone, “No!”

And, wow, it isn’t Homer.

The Simpsons are at Krusty’s holiday ice show, featuring guest star Elvis Stojko, a man who says he has a Canadian girlfriend.  The show is rather par for the course for something from Krusty, right down to the brawl that breaks out between the figure skaters and the basketball team trying to take over the court.  And sure, Homer jumps into the melee to duke it out with the Grumple, which looks like a guy in a Grinch costume but is so much more, a fact that becomes clear as the Grumple keeps coming back to threaten Homer.  At one point, Homer smashes a beer bottle over its head at Moe’s and the thing starts oozing green liquid from its head while unconscious on the floor.

Truly, Homer, we don’t know what the hell that thing is.

But the real meat of the episode comes from Marge taking pity on Gil, the hapless salesman that can’t get anything right.  After Gil gets a playset for Lisa as a Christmas gift, he learns the set was hidden because it was intended for Mr. Costington’s daughter.  As Gil actually refuses to take the set back from Lisa, he’s fired.  Marge says he can spend the night at the Simpson house.

Gil takes that as an invitation to move in.

Now, if it were Homer, Gil would be out the door faster than Grampa asking to stick around a while longer.  But even he figures Marge has to do it or else she’ll never be able to handle anyone like this ever again.  And Marge can’t.  She’s too nice.  Gil sticks around, expecting a call any day from a Scottsdale, Arizona real estate office for a new job.

How long is Gil living with the Simpsons?  Well, we keep seeing the calendar flip through pages.  On St. Patrick’s Day, he’s hosting drunken bums around the family’s piano and a leprechaun gets into a fight with Santa’s Little Helper.  After a certain point, Gil is stealing lunches from the kids and leaving lame apology notes.  By Thanksgiving, Gil has sent out the family Christmas cards for the Simpsons with his own face plastered in front of anyone named Simpson.  That’s the breaking point for Marge.  Now she can kick him out.

Small problem:  that Scottsdale thing paid off and Gil had already left.

Now Marge still needs to hit him with that “no,” so the family piles into the car to drive to Arizona so Marge can have her closure.  And Gil is actually successful out there!  His face is everywhere!  When the Simpsons find the real estate office, he’s giving everyone a great pep talk that has all the salesmen eating out of Gil’s metaphorical hand!

Marge tells him off anyway.  That causes the rest of the office to lose faith with him.  And that causes the realtor boss to also fire Gil.  What will the Simpsons do now?

Well, they’ll have Gil over for Christmas at their new Scottsdale home, that’s what.

At least Homer made peace with the Grumple.

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