Simpsons Did It!: “Moe’N’a Lisa”

Well, Moe is sad and lonely again.  Or maybe still.  Hard to tell when you’re dealing with Moe.  Sometimes the general sleaze gets in the way.

Homer wakes up one fine day with various notes reminding him to remember…something.  What is it?  He’s soon disappointed to learn it may be going to see Grampa compete in the Senior Olympics.

Actually, it isn’t.  It’s Moe’s birthday.  Homer promised to take him fishing.  Moe’s never had anything resembling a happy birthday in his sad, sad life, so this doesn’t help.  Homer only remembers when he and the other Simpsons return to see a dejected Moe sitting on their steps.  The family tries hiding from Moe until a brick comes saying through their window with a note attached addressed to “Dear Pusbags,” and despite Homer’s assumptions, the note was not for Marge.

As it is, something about Moe’s note touches Lisa.  Lisa sees a sad, lonely, artistic soul in that miserable gargoyle of a human being, and as she needs to write a report on an interesting Springfielder, she opts to interview Moe.  Having anyone show interest in him makes Moe realize this is the best birthday he’s ever had.  Even if he got splashed by a car, hit with sprinklers, or soaked by a sudden rainstorm it’s still the best.  And if lightning strikes and sends a panicked Santa’s Little Helper to bite down on Moe’s arm, it’s still in the top three.  And it another lightning strike knocks a bird’s nest onto Moe’s head, cracking the eggs down his face and having the mama bird attack him, it’s still in the top ten.

Cripes, Moe has had some truly awful birthdays.

But now Lisa wants to know the real Moe, so she (with Homer) go visit Moe’s roach-infested home.  Lisa spots various post-it notes scattered around where Moe jots down his darkest thoughts, and Lisa realizes she can make them into a great poem.  She even has a name for it, “Howling at the Concrete Moon”.  The poem is good enough to submit to a journal called American Poetry Perspectives where an editor voiced by J.K. Simmons sure does seem familiar for some reason.  He appears twice, so here’s both his scenes:

Huh.  Maybe Jimmy can place the guy.

Anyhoo, Moe’s poem is so good, he’s invited with the Simpsons to Vermont for the Wordloaf Literary Conference by guest star Tom Wolfe.  Yes, Moe wipes his hands on Wolfe’s trademark white suit.  The only problem is when Moe starts to say Lisa gave him the title, he gets a lot of flack from all the authors who aren’t guest star Gore Vidal.  As such, Moe doesn’t give Lisa credit and breaks the poor girl’s heart.

Will Moe change his ways?  You know, before an angry Homer can dump slow-moving maple syrup on Moe?  Of course he will.  Especially when Lisa won’t help him with a follow-up poem.  He and Lisa make-up, and then everyone goes home.

Just as well.  That conference was way too violent considering the fist fight that broke out between guest stars Michael Chabon and Jonathan Franzen.

Now let’s have some poems about Spider-Man!


Defender of the faith, contributing writer, debonair man-about-town.

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