Geek Review: Baywatch

As I noted with yesterday’s review, I am currently the closest Gabbing Geek has to a film critic, so I try to see as much as I can.  That included Baywatch.

Though when I read the review for this movie on The AV Club, they made an interesting comment about Baywatch:  despite running for 11 years, it’s not a fondly remembered property.  There are no notable episodes, characters, or storylines.  It’s known for slow motion running by attractive people in red swimsuits, and that’s it. That sounds about right, actually…

So, what happened here?  Well, we have a movie that is every bit as confused about its own identity as King Arthur from two weeks ago.  That movie couldn’t decide if it wanted to be a high fantasy adventure or a medieval crime story.  This movie can’t decide if it wants to parody Baywatch or do some sort of legitimate remake of the old show.  It bounced back and forth, and what comedy is here isn’t very good.  I’ll give points to the movie where you know some of the secret to the past show’s success was some level of objectification that all the nudity in the movie is male (and played for laughs), but the movie seems to want to coast off the charisma of Dwayne Johnson and Zac Efron, and that can only carry people so far.

You know, director Seth Gordon started off promisingly with the documentary The King of Kong, and I enjoyed Horrible Bosses, but he also executive produced Pixels, so there’s that.

Look, I don’t know that I would say the movie is bad.  It’s…bland.  Boring.  Utterly forgettable.  And confused in its own identity.  Six out of ten slow motion runs for what is the worst movie of the summer so far.  At least King Arthur had some energy…

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