Simpsons Did It!: “Three Gays Of The Condo”

Hey, remember when Homer hated gay people?

Yeah, he got over that.  John Waters must work miracles.

It’s Wednesday, and that means a Simpson family activity.  The previous week wasn’t Pictionary, as Homer thought, but an intervention about his heavy drinking.  You might want to remember that for later.

Anyway, this week Marge got a giant jigsaw puzzle, and its fun for people 8 to 80, which means Grampa and Maggie are out.  Anyhoo, the puzzle takes a while and just as the family is about finished they realize they’re missing a piece.  Searching everywhere, Homer finds a box of Marge’s full of her memories of things, and on the back of a placard memorializing the opening of Moe’s Tavern Homer finds a letter Marge wrote him saying how angry she was that he got drunk and acted stupid.  An appointment note inside the box also suggests that the only reason Marge stayed was she soon learned she was pregnant with Bart.

Homer is, understandably, upset, and while Marge soon comes by and tries to reassure him that, though he can cause her to resent him a little from time to time, she truly does love her Homey.

That doesn’t work, so Homer moves out.  First he tries living with Kirk VanHouten at the apartment complex for divorced men, but the all-night crying from every room drives him out.  Homer’s about to go home when he finds a newspaper listing apartments for rent and sees a great offer from a part of Springfield he’s never been to before.  It’s a nice section, and hey, there’s Smithers!

Yeah, it’s the gay part of town.

As it is, Homer moves in with two guys named Grady (voiced by Kid in the Hall Scott Thompson) and Julio.  And Homer basically shrugs off the whole gay thing.  Heck, he takes to it, going antiquing and clubbing and reaffirming to the lesbians at said club they were right not to prefer men.

What’s Marge think of all this?  Well, she wants Homer back, but she won’t apologize for his hurt feelings because marriage is all about the struggle for dominance.  Maybe Bart’s recommendation of a fake apology?  He’s apparently a master at them.

Well, Marge does try something:  she gets Weird Al Yankovic to sing a parody song.  That gets Homer to at least agree to a date with Marge, and that might have worked were it not for his nerves jumping up and down so Grady and Julio fill him up with margaritas.  And gee, Drunk Homer doesn’t make anything better.  Marge walks out when he comes in late and inebriated.  Going back to his new place doesn’t last long when Grady tries kissing him.  Homer may not mind the whole “gay” thing now, but he still doesn’t swing that way.  And asking Moe what went wrong and maybe questioning all the alcohol consumption ruining his life just has Moe force a beer down his throat and drop Homer off at the hospital for alcohol poisoning.

Moe really isn’t that good a friend, is he?

As it is, Dr. Hibbert remembers the first time Homer came in because he taped it to see if a nurse was stealing sponges.  Homer learns Marge was worried sick about him even before the doctor’s appointment, and she still loves him.  Homer and Marge make up.

And years later, Hibbert learns that nurse was stealing sponges.  She wasn’t even subtle about it.  Maybe he should have watched those tapes more closely…

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