Simpsons Did It!: “Strong Arms Of The Ma”

To think, I thought this project wouldn’t last.

I may need to go out once in a while.

After the opening to Kent Brockman’s Eye on Springfield allows the show to recycle some old footage, we the viewer learn Rainer Wolfcastle is broke.  That means the Simpsons are there to buy up all manner of his stuff in a garage sale.  That includes Homer buying up the muscular movie star’s old weight set.  In fact, the Simpsons buy so much stuff, that though Homer’s Tetris skills does get everything into the car, he forgot to leave room for himself.  As it is, Marge drives the kids home when all of a sudden, Maggie lets loose with a poop that smells so bad even Apu–who, as he points out, came from India in a joke that I am sure is not racist–is the worst anyone has ever smelled, so Marge is permitted to use the Kwik-E-Mart restroom which is somehow outside the store.

Returning to the car, Marge gets mugged by a guy in a stupid Goofy hat and loses her necklace.  She’s traumatized, and why wouldn’t she be?  But then she finds she can’t go out again.  Her one and only trip to the Kwik-E-Mart results in hitting Ralph Wiggum with pepper spray and then being unable to go out again and rescue the rather optimistic mailman she ran over.  Dr. Hibbert diagnoses Marge with extreme agoraphobia, and efforts to get her out don’t work if Homer sets fire to a wasp’s nest.  Marge retreats to the basement and shows no signs of coming out again.  That would be when she starts using those weights Homer bought.

Now Marge is getting stronger, and when she steps into the backyard to pick a lemon from the lemon tree I didn’t know the Simpsons had, she realizes she’s cured and goes running joyfully through the streets.  That’s when she runs into the guy in a stupid Goofy hat again, only this time she gives him a Godfather-style beating.  Does Marge assaulting a man in the middle of a public street get her in trouble?  Hell no.  Chief Wiggum is glad someone caught her own criminal and even chastises the crowd for not doing the same.

I get the impression the Chief has some really messed-up priorities.

Well, now that Marge is stronger, she can’t stop.  Still pumping iron, she goes down to the muscle beach that Springfield apparently has and runs into her former neighbor Ruth Powers, also very buff and muscular.  Where’s Ruth been?  Er, prison.  Anyway, Ruth suggests Marge could compete, but first Marge needs to start downing steroids.

Wouldn’t you know it…steroids make Marge crazy.  She’s lifting the back of the school bus when it tries to pull away without her children, and then manhandles Homer into sex he doesn’t want.  I’m not sure that’s funny.

And then, at the competition, Marge comes in second.  That’s bad news for her family because that means that not only will Marge’s new muscular ears hear their worrying complaints, but she will just push whatever femininity is still in her out to win the next one.  And that’s what comes up at a celebratory evening at Moe’s, when Moe announces there isn’t enough booze in the bar to make Marge attractive.  That leads to a massive fight between Marge and every man in Moe’s except for Homer who just hides in the bathroom until the whole thing stops.

How is Disco Stu not dead when he gets clocked with the jukebox?

Anyway, Homer does get through to Marge, and she realizes she’s become everything she hated.  No more steroids and working out for Marge.

Methinks this one wasn’t as good as the 200th episode.

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