Simpsons Did It!: “The Bart Wants What It Wants”

There’s some nice symmetry here since the episode more or less opens and closes with the Olympics.

Our story open with a high speed car chase between the Simpsons’ car and a helicopter with the Olympic logo on the side.  It seems Homer has stolen the torch to keep his favorite shows from being pre-empted by what he sees as boring sports and inspirational stories.

To be fair, there’s only so much diving a person can watch without going insane.

As it is, Marge tosses the torch back and the Simpsons end up outside an expensive prep school having a fundraising fair.  Lisa was a bit outraged when she learned such a school existed.  Marge gave Wolfgang Puck (playing himself) a tip to improve his Rice Krispie Treats.  Homer destroyed a bouncy castle.  And Bart rescued a girl his age from what amounts to a prep school version of bullies.  When you deal with Nelson on a regular basis, those guys were easy.  The girl’s name is Greta, she sounds an awful lot like guest star Reese Witherspoon, and her dad is movie actor Rainier Wolfcastle.  You know.  McBain.

With a new friend, Bart gets invited over to the Wolfcastle mansion, and Homer gets to hang out with a big movie star.  It all seems to be going mostly OK, except Bart is dense and doesn’t notice Greta is actively flirting with him.  Like, edging closer to him during Itchy and Scratchy, holding his hand under the table at a dinner for both families, or asking him to her school dance.  To be fair, Bart is ten.  Why should he be thinking of girls at all?

And why in the name of all that’s holy, unholy, or anywhere in-between would he invite Milhouse to come along the next time he visits?

But then the night of the dance, Bart learns that Principal Skinner is performing stand-up comedy at a local club, so he blows off Greta to go heckle Skinner.  Lisa has some words for him when he gets home, so Bart decides dumping Greta as harshly as possible is the right way to go.

There’s those Simpson Genes kicking in again.

But it’s only after breaking Greta’s heart that Bart realizes he wants her back.  Why?  Well, now she’s dating Milhouse.

Even Milhouse is aware that a rebound relationship is the best he can hope for.

Lisa sees what’s happening, and tried to explain to Bart about how people always want what they can’t have even if they didn’t want it when they did have it.  She demonstrates by taking an ignored ball from Maggie and seeing Maggie suddenly wanted it back.  Bart wanted it too.  It really sucks being the smart Simpson some days.

But then Bart gets word that Greta is going to Toronto to help her dad film a movie.  Milhouse is also going.  Bart convinces his family to follow, allowing the Simpsons to see such grand Canadian sights as, er, Jimmy Impossible’s house, and Bart and Homer manage to find the movie filming, something called Undercover Nerd, and when Bart tries to go over to Greta, he’s stopped by Milhouse.  The two fight, tussling their way right into a filming of Curling for Loonies and when Greta catches up, she breaks up with both boys.

Dejected, they become friends again and manage to join the Canadian Olympic Basketball Team.  See?  Symmetry.

But as we step away from awful Canadian stereotypes, we see Principal Skinner bombing during his stand-up act again.  Symmetry ruined.

Thanks a heap, Skinner.

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