Simpsons Did It!: “Pygmoelian”

There’s a subplot to this episode where Maggie loses a pink elephant balloon and Bart and Lisa peddle all over town to get it back.

But that plot line doesn’t last very long, so that’s all I’ll say about it.

It’s the annual Duff Days beer festival, and the Simpsons get there bright and early thanks to Homer tricking them all with a fire alarm.  There’s polka music, animatronics from some of the most famous drunks in history, and a razor wire pen for the designated drivers where Marge has to sit until Homer comes to get her.

But the highlight, such as it is, is a bartending competition hosted by Duffman.  Moe is all set to compete against a large Irishman and a well-endowed blonde whose talent seems to be pouring while bouncing around.  The drunk toss is actually the biggest percentage of the score, and while the Irishman easily tosses his and the blonde won’t touch hers, Moe can’t even lift Barney, let alone toss him.

Moe can, instead, get Barney to toss himself by charging at the town drunk with a  baseball bat with a nail sticking out.

Moe wins the competition and gets his face in the Duff calendar.  But the Duff representatives realize Moe has a rather…harsh face to look at, and when Moe gets the calendar and finds his face covered by multiple stickers, by the time he gets them all off, he realizes how ugly he must be.

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There’s only one thing to do then…get some plastic surgery to at least look better on the outside even if he’s still miserable on the inside.  Finding a surgeon that must have gone to med school with Dr. Nick, Moe is transformed into a genuinely handsome man.  That means one thing:  revenge!  Against Duffman!  Against women who turned him down (apologies take Moe by surprise)!  And finally, against Channel Six following an incident 25 years earlier when Moe had auditioned for the soap opera role of Dr. Tad Winslow on the hit soap It Never Ends.  Moe had been rejected for being too ugly.  Now, with his pretty face and the original Dr. Tad Winslow wanting a raise after 25 years on the show, Moe gets the role that requires him to act in scenes involving resurrected mummies and well-endowed contessas.

There are some seriously well-endowed cartoon women in this episode.

But a chance encounter with a future stories outline suggests the show is going to kill off Dr. Tad Winslow.  Moe, angry and irate, sabotages the show by having Homer appear on an apparently live broadcast to spill the beans, all of which seems to have sexy results.

But it turns out Moe was only going to be killed in a dream sequence, and so he’s fired by a producer with really exact timing.  Moe feels he can get a new job anywhere with his new face.  Then the set falls on it, and he gets his old face back.

Back at the bar, Moe ponders why he wouldn’t have gotten a third face instead of his original one, but the show cuts him off while he ponders that that makes no sense.  I think Moe might be on to something there.  He asks a really good quest

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