Simpsons Did It!: “Burns, Baby Burns”

Mr. Burns once tried to make Bart his heir.

Too bad he didn’t know at the time he already had a son.

Yes, there is another Burns.  His name is Larry.  He looks a lot like Rodney Dangerfield, only with a Burns face.  He even sounds a lot like Rodney Dangerfield.  Oh, wait, he was played by Rodney Dangerfield.  That explains a lot.  Larry and Monty didn’t know about each other, not really.  Larry worked at a souvenir shop on the side of a railroad track, and he’d been there since he left the orphanage.  Once he saw a blimp.  Monty just knew he had a fling with the object of his college affections’ much younger daughter, in part inflamed by some naughty language from the mouth of Clark Gable.  After Larry travels miles to meet the father he never knew, Monty finally has that son he was looking for all this time.

Well, maybe not.  Larry’s rough around the edges.  He likes drinking and goofing off.  He’s incredibly lazy.  Putting him to work at the Power Plant means he gets parked next to Homer, and the two hit it off immediately.  That’s good, because Larry is an epic embarrassment everywhere else.  He doesn’t fit into society parties.  Burns’ plans to enroll the clearly middle-aged or older Larry into Yale go wrong on many levels in part due to the fact Larry spelled “Yale” with a 6.  Maybe for the price of an international airport?  No, Monty is not made of airports.

Larry for his part can’t understand why everyone in town hates his old man.  Then he finds out how little his father thinks of him, and with some prompting from Homer, the two stage a phony kidnapping.  It was that or clean up his act.  Larry wasn’t going to do that.  He may get no regard or esteem from his dad, but that doesn’t mean he’s going to give up booze for work hard.  That’s for suckers.

Marge doesn’t truck with that.  Larry’s attempts at humor don’t go over well for her, though he does end every bit of insult humor with a few rounds of, “Hey, she’s alright!”  Who wouldn’t love Larry Burns?  You know, besides his father?

But Monty doesn’t understand there are more important things than money.  And then Marge tells Homer to take Larry home, and that’s when the media chopper sees them, and with Mr. Burns offering a huge reward, and Chief Wiggum on the case, Homer is on the run with Larry.  I mean, they can probably evade Wiggum, but not the rest of the town.

Heck, hiding out in a crappy movie starring Olympia Dukakis and Bo Derek doesn’t keep the guys safe since they annoyed the only customer in there, Hans Moleman.  Maybe Homer shouldn’t taunt guys like that to call the cops.

Fortunately, a speech from Homer about loving your kids even if they’re obnoxious, boring, or smelly gets through to Burns.  Almost.  Larry will have to go.  That would be about when Larry remembered he had a wife and kids he hadn’t seen for a week.  They might as well have a Caddyshack-style party in the street featuring every character that had appeared in the episode up to point.  Sure, Marge wants to know where the music and liquor are coming from, but there’s only one answer to that.

It’s a party.  It doesn’t have to make sense.

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