The title for this episode comes from a young prostitute that Octavian loses his virginity too. After asking where she is from, Egreria says that her family was murdered when she was very young and she has no idea where she is from. It’s a sad tale that culminates with a rather indifferent Octavian basically telling her to assume the position.
Man, I really don’t like that weasel.
Caesar is off chasing Pompey, and Pompey finds the tide turning in his favor. In Greece, Pompey has acquired a full ten legions. Caesar has one. Basic math says Caesar needs to flee.
This leads to some hard decisions on the part of Marc Antony. Does he go on this suicidal mission to back up Caesar with his own legion? He’s using the Senate to pass laws that aren’t very helpful to, well, the rest of the Senate, and while Pullo admires the whole “man of the people” thing Antony is doing on Caesar’s behalf, the recently reenlisted Vorenus isn’t pleased with it at all, since he admires men who, you know, stepped down.
Besides, Vorenus is having problems at home. His sister-in-law is over all the time crying over her missing husband. Pullo, being the crude man that he is, decides to fix it by telling the woman who figures (correctly) that her husband is dead that the man had a rumored gambling problem and she shouldn’t live in the past. Yeah, Pullo, with that weasel Octavian, killed Evander and left his corpse in the sewer, but there’s no reason to mourn the man unnecessarily. The point is, after an argument with Niobe again over the whole Niobe-slept-with-Evander bit, the widow says she won’t tell Vorenus who the baby really belongs to and departs.
So, you know, Vorenus and Niobe actually have the Roman equivalent of a romantic night. I’m sure that won’t last.
It really is an episode for sex. Marc Antony is thinking about ditching Caesar to save his own skin, but a little fun in the sack with Atia convinces him not to. Not because she pleads on her Uncle Caesar’s behalf. Quite the opposite. She suggests Marc Antony marry her to protect the two of them for when Caesar loses to Pompey. Marc Antony sees Caesar’s own niece is plotting against him and realizes how important friendship is. Some might even say friendship is magic. Granted, turning her down the way he did resulted in another Roman slap fight that got Antony exiled from Atia’s bed, but man, did he have her number or what?
Oh yeah, and as part of her lessons for Octavian becoming a man, Atia insists Pullo take her son to a brothel. Yeah, see above on that. That woman has weird ideas.
Weirder still is her realization that she needs to make up with Servilia if Antony isn’t there to protect her politically anymore. So, she sends over some gifts. And what a gift. That male slave sure is swinging some mean pipe, that’s all I have to say. That was a lot of dick to see on the TV. Some other HBO series might want to take note.
Maybe sending dissatisfied daughter Octavia as the go-between between herself and Servilia may not have been the best idea now that I think about it.
And hey, Pullo is romancing that slave woman. Maybe at some point she’ll get some lines or a name.
The show ends with Antony’s Legion marching off to assist Caesar in Greece. They go by sea. A storm hits. Vorenus insists they’ll be fine because they made a sacrifice to Triton before they left. Pullo suggests Triton do something rude if he can’t keep the boat from leaking. Vorenus turns on Pullo, and then the boat starts sinking.
And as for that weasel Octavian…well, his mama sent him off to boarding school. Oh well.