Gabbing Geek Box Office Report: Wha-Huh?

I’m resigned these days.  Someone has to do this stupid report every week, and I’m stuck with it.  Look, I’m on record for saying these numbers are lower than trivia…and if I wasn’t, I am now.  But now I am outright baffled.

See, what outright baffles me isn’t that The Secret Life of Pets got first place.  I can see that.  Kids movie, parents need to entertain said kids.  It happens.  And no one wanted to see The BFG.   But $103 million?  That’s around what Finding Dory apparently did in its first week.  You know, give or take a few million.  So, I guess we’ll be seeing these characters again.  Did the world really want a Louis CK role that didn’t ask him to play melancholy?

But now I get really confused.


Why was Legend of Tarzan in second place?  $20.6 million?  Who is seeing this movie?  You know, besides me, and I didn’t exactly give it a glowing review.

I mean, that thing beat out Finding Dory this past week ($20.3 million).  Now, yeah, the Pixar film has been out a few weeks, so the crowds will get smaller, but who is seeing Tarzan?

OK, then there’s the R-rated comedy Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates.  $16.6 million there.  I get that you can’t take your kids to this one, but what parent is taking their kid to see Tarzan?

And finally, the subtle political satire The Purge:  Election Year came in fifth with $11.7 million, but I still say who the hell cares.

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