Simpsons Did It!: “Bart Vs. Australia”

The Simpsons, as a family that in the past had trouble making ends meet, sure do travel to foreign countries frequently.  Here we see them go to Australia, which establishes two traditions for the show:  1) that any and all stereotypes that exist about that country will be used and this will anger some real people from said country no matter how laid back the nation is, and 2) the Simpsons themselves are always the worst.

After losing a race of semi-liquid substances down the drain, Lisa informs Bart about the Coriolis Effect, which she says controls the way water flows down a drain depending on what hemisphere you live in.

That may not actually be true, but it does get Bart to hit the phone looking for answers from various Southern Hemisphere countries he didn’t even know existed. After trying an Antarctic research station, a military dictator’s palace, a guy who falls into a lava flow, and an elderly Hitler who just doesn’t answer the phone in time, Bart opts to call Australia…collect.  The boy who answers the phone is told Bart is a scientist involved in a terrible drainage issue killing people and if he would check the toilet flow.  “Stupid Lisa Science Queen” is right at first blush, so Bart asks the kid to check with his neighbor.  The kid agrees but lives in the middle of nowhere.  And then Bart gets bored and leaves.

Spring forward and the boy’s father gets a phone bill for 900 dollarydoos, whatever those are, and after getting Bart on the phone himself, takes the complaint to his member of parliament and then the prime minister, both of whom apparently live nearby as a pig farmer and a nude inner tuber, respectively.

That would be about when Bart starts to get letters from the Australian government looking to collect.  When Bart finally does tell his parents he’s being indicted in Australia, they need the State Department to settle things.  Enter a bureaucrat played by the late, great Phil Hartman.

Since Marge is unwilling to let Bart go to jail for five years, the second option of a personal apology to the Australian parliament is taken, and so the Simpsons go Down Under.  Bart’s good at faking sincere apologies, sometimes seconds after saying so.

Well, despite the fact Bart had played knifey-spoony before, he didn’t know about the second part of the punishment:  the Boot.

Yes, the Boot, a giant boot worn to give the malefactor a good kick in the butt.  Outraged Homer won’t stand for that, and he and Bart flee back to the American embassy, where the soil is American and the marine on duty has already punched Homer for being obnoxious twice.  Every Australian stereotype imaginable chases the pair, and then the women, back to that building.

Negotiations that succeed only in both sides agreeing Marge should be kept out of it ends with Bart getting a single boot with a regular shoe.  Feeling patriotic, Bart agrees.

Then he dodges the shoe and moons the crowd with “DON’T TREAD ON ME” written on his butt while humming the Star Spangles Banner.  His patriotism appears at the worst times, and the embassy falls.

Flying away, the family gets a good laugh at the chuzzwallers (or bullfrogs) Bart introduced to the ecosystem eating all the nation’s crops.  That’s cold and uncalled for.

Though that koala clinging to the helicopter might change their mind later…


Defender of the faith, contributing writer, debonair man-about-town.

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