Simpsons Did It!: “Rosebud”

What we have here is an episode that starts off like Citizen Kane and ends like Planet of the Apes.  That’s one of the craziest things I’ve ever seen.

What we may also have here is a failure to communicate.  Oh, that’s not in the episode.  That one was from me…and Cool Hand Luke.

Mr. Burns is missing something in his life.  No, not a soul or a shred of human decency.  He’s missing those things, too, but he isn’t upset about their loss.  No, he’s missing the teddy bear he dropped when he abandoned his poor parents and younger brother George to live with a heartless old billionaire.

And that bear, Bobo, is a regular Forest Gump, interacting with historical events and personages just by being in the right place at the right time.  Jimmy really hates that movie.

Through a series of bizarre events, the teddy bear goes from a river to Charles Limburgh, to Adolf Hitler, to the U.S.S. Nautilus (they skipped a couple years), to an ice bag from the North Pole, and finally to the Simpson house.  There, moldy, disheveled Bobo ends up in the hands of one Maggie Simpson, who loves it anyway.

Mr. Burns is really missing that bear.  His birthday party was a disaster, even with the Ramones serenading him in the meanest way possible.  Pity the Rolling Stones.  Homer Simpson isn’t so much a talented comedian as a guy who can draw on his own butt and be laughed at not with.  But once Homer has Bobo, he has something Burns wants, so he can play hardball.

But Homer’s greed (and Marge’s, since she can also be greedy once in a while) is no match for the love he has for his baby girl, to say nothing of an empty box he can put over his head.  And Maggie’s sad looks whenever someone tries to take the bear from her extend to even hardened jackasses like Moe.  Yes, Burns may have cut off TV and beer, but he’s not getting the bear unless he asks Maggie for it.

And that’s something.  Burns can’t pull a toy from a baby.  And the paparazzi are always watching.  What a scoop indeed.  But Maggie will give up the bear to the old man, who will vow to be kind and nice from now on or until he forgets he made the vow since Smithers didn’t write it down.  Maggie sure is sweet.

Easy to forget she will some day shoot that man.

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