Are Characters Without An Announced Superhero Hero Movie Losers?

arms fall off

There are SO many Marvel/DC superhero movies that have already made it to the Silver Screen.  Superman.  Batman. Spider-Man.  X-Men.  Green Lantern.  Hulk.  Iron Man.  The Rest of the Avengers.  GotG.  Daredevil.  Fantastic Four.  Blade.  Even Ghost Rider!  There are even more announced in the DC/Marvel slates; franchises such as Dr Strange, Suicide Squad, Black Panther, and of course the legendary AQUAMAN.  So how bad do you think the others feel who aren’t even announced?  How sad they must be!  Who has the biggest reason to complain?  Click on for the answer!

Hawkman/Hawkwoman

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What’s their story:  Hawkman and Hawkwoman have multiple orgins as do most DC Gold/Silver agers, but the most commonly used version( in multiple cartoon series) has been that they are space cops from an alien world who employ antigrav metal and wings to fly and pound villains with their warrior weapons.

Who Should be involved: I’d cast Joe Manganiello (he’s been itching for a superhero lead!) as Hawkman and Ilsa Fisher as Hawkwoman.  The miniseries Hawkworld, a great retelling of the Hawks’ origin and would be an awesome movie treatment.  Let’s get Guillermo del Toro to direct so he can capture the creepiness of the Hawkworld verison of Thanagar.

Will it ever happen?  I think if the DCCU takes off, this is an easy greenlight.

Verdict:  Not a Loser!

Legion of Superheroes

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What’s their story:  Think the Justice League/Teen Titans team found 1000 years in the DCU’s future.  The LSH members hail from all the worlds of the Galaxy and fight existential level threats such as The Legion of Supervillains, the Fatal Five, and  even Darkseid (he’s still around!)

Who Should be involved: I’d model the X-Men and have a blended team already formed so the action begins right away.  Daniel Radcliffe could take the lead role, playing Brainiac Five (descendant of the Superman villain).  Let’s have Lilly James (Cinderella) play the female main character Saturn Girl.  We’ll need more teammates (it is Legion Soup) so we’ll see if we can get Joss Whedon to jump ship to DC after his rest post-Ultron.

Will it ever happen?  There have been rumors, especially with the success of Guardians of the Galaxy, but I think this one is 50-50.  They definitely can’t use the character names from the comics (too many Lads, Boys, and Gal for a modern audience).

Verdict:  Not losers!

She-Hulk

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What’s their story: The Hulk’s lawyer cousin requires a blood transfusion and gains part of his gamma powers, but keeps her intellect and wits.

Who Should be involved: If they did it, this would be a tough casting.  I hate casting wrestlers, but they are the only ones big enough to play this role.  Stacey Kiebler it is….

Will it ever happen?  I don’t think so.  Like too many superheroine characters created, it is a pure deviation from Hulk (who has been spotty himself at the box office).  I think Captain Marvel will play the powerful role that She Hulk has occupied in the Marvel U, so that diminishes of on the (sadly) limited “needs” for a female hero.

Verdict?  Not a loser!

Spider-Woman

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Dedicated to Jenny Newman

 

What’s their story: Kind of unrelated to Spider-Man, but definitely a derivative character.  She had a quirky, 70’s west coast detective orgin but has never really clicked since (other than the cancelled cover pictured above simply to rile Jenny).

Who Should be involved: We’ve been looking for a vehicle for Anna Kendrick.  Phillip Noyce, who did smart female action with Jolie in Salt, would be a great choice to direct.

Will it ever happen?  It could have happened, but with Sony back on track by piggy backing on the MCU, it appears less likely.

Verdict:  Loser…

Namor

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What’s their story:  Namor is the “first” Marvel mutant.  Think the Aquaman of the Marvel U.  Sometime hero.  Sometime villain.  Always a dick.

Who Should be involved: How about Garret Hedlund (Tron: Legacy) as Namor?

Will it ever happen?  I put the odds at 25%.  The MCU really doesn’t need him. MCU could just leave the fish to Aquaman.

Verdict:  Loser!

Plastic Man

plastic man

What’s their story: A former crook gains the power to bend and stretch, goes straight, and hilarity ensues!

Who Should be involved: Jim Carrey 20 years ago.  Absent that, let’s go with Russell Brand.  Let’s reteam him with Get Him to the Greek co-star Jonah Hill to play sidekick Woozie Winks.

Will it ever happen? This could actually happen.  They could avoid Brand and go family friendly (pairing it in tone with Shazam).  I think the DCCU doesn’t HAVE to succeed for this property to be made.  It could stand alone (and probably should).

Verdict:  Loser!

Madame Xanadu

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What’s their story:  I have no idea.

Who Should be involved:  Jenny was the only one interested.

Will it ever happen? No.

Verdict:  Losers have filed a class action to enjoin me from sullying their name by calling this character a loser.

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