5 Films Chris Pratt Shouldn't Remake

Watercooler ChatGeeks around the world love Chris Pratt.  Because Chris Pratt.  After rallying a little-known-Marvel-property into one of the top grossers of 2014, Pratt seems destined to have another high-attention movie (notice I did not say top grossing – Ryan) with Jurassic World and he’s rumored to be the next Indiana Jones or in another Ghostbusters movie.  In fact, Chris Pratt is rumored to be attached to just about any movie with a male lead.  Which is just about every movie that doesn’t involve an all-female Ghostbusters film.  So we thought it’d be fun to brainstorm movies that shouldn’t be remade starring Chris Pratt.  It’s harder than you think.  Find out what the Gabbing Geek editorial crew came up with after the break.

Tom Kelly: Geeks haven’t been as infatuated with an actor since they discovered Nathan Fillion. Hollywood seems to have followed suit, with even Stephen Spielberg suggesting Pratt as the next Indian Jones. Pratt’s style is the right combination of laid back, humorous, and everyman American that would allow him to fit into just about anything from a new Office Space to a new Tootsie, to say nothing of things he’s already in like Jurassic World.

So, to say what he shouldn’t be cast in as a remake, we should consider either something without an obvious Pratt role, or something that should never be remade like Casablanca. I’m going to go with the former, though, and say Pratt should not be cast as the only actor in a special-effects-make-it-possible remake of Steel Magnolias.

Watson: I am having trouble coming up with a response. While Chris Pratt wouldn’t be perfect for everything, I can’t think of anything that wouldn’t be amusing with him. In fact, he just got added as Colonel Mustard in my Neil Patrick Harris led remake of Clue. But if forced to pick something that he probably shouldn’t do, I guess I’ll have to choose an iconic movie that isn’t ripe for parody. Hmmm…. I guess I will go with Forrest Gump. That is a movie that is already comedic in many regards, but which would be offensive if you went too broad with the comedy. Hanks played Forrest as simple, but elegant; possessing common wisdom despite his mental limitations. Pratt, who may have more range but hasn’t shown it yet, would likely drift into “making fun of the handicap” territory.

Jenny: As much as I love Chris Pratt (and who doesn’t?) there isn’t a single movie out there in which I don’t think he could have a major staring role. He can be funny, he can be dramatic, he can be sexy…..oh HE CAN be sexy. [insert long dramatic pause of silence] Shhhhhh, wait a minute, I’m thinking about him being sexy. Aaaahhhhh, okay. Ready to speak again. Anyway, the only reason why I would not want Chris Pratt to replace a character in a reboot or remake would be if the original character was so iconic, that to reboot/remake with Chris Pratt would be a disservice to the original. Not only the original movie, but the the original characters in that movie. Sooooo, I chose The Goblin King in Labyrinth. That role is/was/and always will be only for David Bowie. Dance-Magic-Dance, and the creeptastic dance scene with Sara in a princess/wedding dress would never be the same with Pratt as the lead. Never mind the fact that Bowie has the perfect (yet awesome) creepiness factor, and is probably the only man allowed in those tight-tight-tight leotard pants (ahem…. massive bulge included).

Jimmy Impossible: Tootsie was a 1982 dramedy starring Dustin Hoffman as an actor that dresses as a woman to get a job.  Laughter ensues as Hoffman tries to keep his real identity and gender a secret as his character’s popularity soars…and he becomes the object of several male suitors.

While Chris Pratt has taken his turn with comedic roles in Parks and Recreation, Delivery Man, The Lego Movie and Jennifer’s Body (we were supposed to be laughing at this film, right?), he’s a big bad hunky superhero-action type now.  Guardians of the Galaxy.  Jurassic World.  Magnificent Seven.  Like Tom Hanks growing up after Joe Versus The Volcano, Pratt has moved on from these silly roles on his way to super stardom.

And really, who wants to see Chris Pratt in drag, becoming the star of a fake over the top soap opera, trying not to be kissed by his aging male co-stars…wait…I totally want to see this movie!

Honestly, I came up with this idea and tried to Photoshop an image of Pratt as Tootsie and failed miserably because my fu is weak.  So I googled “Chris Pratt Tootsie” and found this magnificent post.

Ryan: Jurassic Park. Oh wait, too late.

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