Give The Finger Using A Machine You Didn't Know How To Work, Get Handed The Keys To Reviving Every Franchise

This one goes out to all the "Starlord is that guy from Community?" haters.
This one goes out to all the “Starlord is that guy from Parks and Recreation?” haters.

Fresh off starring roles in two of the top four grossing movies of 2014, Hollywood is looking at Chris Pratt to save all their stale franchises.  First up, he’ll follow in the giant footsteps of Tyrannosaurus Rex and Spinosaurus and attempt to avoid the extinction of Universal’s once lucrative franchise with Jurassic World.  While it will make a tonne of money, I agree with Ryan’s Bold Prediction that it under performs.  I love the dinos.  The original is one of my favorite all time films, but this looks like just more of the same.

Now Deadline is hearing whispers that Disney is hoping to lasso in Pratt to star in an Indiana Jones reboot.  (I don’t know if it is a true reboot, or he is Indy’s son, or Pratt will star but an incredibly aged Harrison Ford will upstage him by surviving a nuclear blast in a lead lined fridge.  Strike that last one, that makes no sense and couldn’t possibly happen.)  And since the guy formally looked on as the franchise savior is busy making porn and starring in controversial videos, his lose is Pratt’s, and our, gain.

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