Watson's Top 145 Movies of 2014!

This week, I unveiled my Top 20 and bottom 20 movies. What about the other 105 flicks that made up the crazy list? For your browsing amusement, here is the ENTIRE list of 2014 movies viewed by Gabbing Geek film fan extraordinaire. Enjoy!

While many would assume that all of my favourite films of the year come from websites such as https://www.porn-hd.xxx/, unfortunately I’ve been limited to films that had a full cinema release. The best films of the year deserve much greater examination. For a full review of each film #1-10, check out my list.

imitation-game
“Hello, Jenny. If you had been in the 1950s, I wouldn’t have been chemically castrated because you could have changed me!”

1 IMITATION GAME

2 BIRDMAN

3 DAWN OF THE PLANET OF APES

4 NIGHTCRAWLER

5 WHIPLASH

6 THE SKELETON TWINS

7 GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY

GOTG
Picture Rocket’s reaction when StarLord handed him the bionic leg and try not to laugh!

 

8 CAPTAIN AMERICA: WINTER SOLIDER

9 GRAND BUDAPEST HOTEL

10 FOXCATCHER

 

There were more than just ten great films worthy of praise. For a full review of the excellent films that made up #11-20, check out my earlier entry!

 

11 FINDING VIVIAN MAIER

12 LOVE IS STRANGE

 

Love is Strange Film
So is your mama!

13 X-MEN: DAYS OF FUTURE PAST

14 EDGE OF TOMORROW

15 BOYHOOD

Boyhood-poster-quad
Can’t wait for the sequel, Manhood!

 

16 THE GOOD LIE

17 GONE GIRL

18 PRIDE

PRIDE
…IN THE NAME OF LOVE! (Now Bono is stuck in your head. Hahahahaha!)

 

19 SNOWPIERCER

20 WHAT IF?

 

WHAT IF
Would have been more successful if it had been Marvel Comics Presents: WHAT IF?

 

Because they weren’t covered in any other article (who wants to read about the 92nd best film of the year?), I’ll include a quick blurb for #21-125 here. Cuz I am thorough like that!

 

21 JOHN WICK

A movie where Keanu was actually critical to the quality. Good stuff.

WICK
Often confused with Groot

22 22 JUMP STREET

A rare comedy sequel better than the original! (Heh. I JUST realized as I was formatting this for publication that 22 Jump Street was #22. That was a total freaking coincidence!!!!)

 

23 THEORY OF EVERYTHING

Dallas Buyers Club-esque. Mostly acting over plot.

 

24 PARTICLE FEVER

A Doc that made me excited about physics! Still mad Texas lost the Hadron because of Congress!

 

25 LIFE ITSELF

I wonder if this would be so high if I wasn’t a huge Ebert fan?

26 BIG HERO SIX

Didn’t connect with me until my son made me see it a second time. Strong entry.

 

download
Pictured: Watson after the holidays

27 UNBROKEN

Better than the reviews but a little too Disney.

28 CHEF

29 LUNCHBOX

30 THE HUNDRED FOOT JOURNEY

 

My food porn trio. All very good movies about love, food, and the love of food.

 

31 FED UP

The Katie Couric Documentary you should watch with the Food Porn trio so you don’t look like this:

 

JABBA
Pictured: Watson’s last date.

32 KILL TEAM

Brutal subject matter. Very compelling.

 

33 BEGIN AGAIN

This movie should have been in the top 15 easily but it lost a full star (ironic because the song that will likely win Best Song is called Lost Stars) because of credit scene that really detracts from the third act. So depressing that they made that choice.

 

34 INTERSTELLAR

2/3 of a great movie. The more I thought on this one (I originally gave it five stars) the more I disliked it. Still a good movie, but I think it is Nolan’s worst other than his earliest film.

 

35 FELONY

I love Tom Wilkinson

 

36 CHEAP THRILLS

Fun movie by the folks at the Drafthouse.

 

37 GET ON UP

Strong performances but a fairly typical biopic.

 

38 ST VINCENT

Good movie but too much was shown in the previews.

 

39 EQUALIZER

Best Liam Neeson movie of the year! Oh wait….

 

40 BOOK OF LIFE

Gorgeous with great charm and mood. I had it higher but Garcia poisoned the well harping on the Mumford and Sons cover. He’s kinda right….

 

41 HAPPY VALLEY

Fair doc covering the Penn State sex abuse scandal.

 

42 THE RISE AND RISE OF BITCOIN

Inaccurate title. The fall seems to happen in the doc.

 

43 SHOWRUNNERS

Movie about TV. My kinda doc.

 

44 KILL THE MESSENGER

A nice arthouse thriller.

 

45 WILD

Top notch performance by Witherspoon, meandering film.

 

46 MOCKINGJAY

Book split-itis rears its ugly head.

47 TO BE TAKEI

More about subject likeability than great documentary.

 

george-takei
OH MYYYYYY!

48 DINOSAUR 13

Got me mad. Mission accomplished.

 

49 CALVARY

Quirky indie pic that I’m glad I saw.

 

50 FAULT IN OUR STARS

Surprise of the year. I shouldn’t have liked this movie as much as I did.

51 MALEFICENT

Jolie was great as was the art direction

 

MALEFICENT
Pictured: A minimally talented spoiled brat according to Sony execs

 

52 THIS IS WHERE I LEAVE YOU

Should have either been more substantial or just settled for being an HBO original

 

53 LAGGIES

Sam Rockwell and Keira Knightly were excellent.

 

54 LIFE OF CRIME

Darkly funny

 

55 THE INTERNET’S OWN BOY

No prosecutorial or counterpoint provided

 

56 BELLE

I love Tom Wilkinson

 

57 MAZE RUNNER

Solid fun on a low budget

 

58 OBVIOUS CHILD

Appreciate the effort more than the delivery

 

59 TWO FACES OF JANUARY

Dark and exotic

 

60 BLUE RUIN

An indie thriller that cast Home Alone’s Buzz McCallister in a decent supporting role

61 LEGO MOVIE

Is this lower than you’d think? I wanted to like this more, but thought it was mediocre.

 

LEGOS
Ouch!

62 A MILLION WAYS TO DIE IN THE WEST

Underrated, but could have been tighter at 90 minutes. Sarah Silverman was amazing.

 

63 OUT OF THE CLEAR BLUE SKY

9/11 Memories are still hard.

 

64 TRUST ME

I like Clark Gregg. That is all.

 

65 A MOST WANTED MAN

Mediocre with a great performance by PSH. I wanted to be mad at him the whole movie, but he was such a great actor, I forgot it was him….

66 BAD WORDS

My kind of movie. Good solid middle.

 

67 NOAH

The religious hate it because it is not faithful to the Bible. The nonreligious don’t want to see a movie about Noah. I think I am the only person who wanted to see this. It was decent.

 

68 AUGUST: OSAGE COUNTY

I have a new rule for next year’s movies that it will be a “calendar year” movie only when it was available in Austin. A movie like Selma is Oscar eligible for 2014, but is only shown in 5 theaters until 2015. I don’t want those last minute entries to never show up on any list, thus the rule change. Ryan, a stickler for geek order, demanded I add August Osage County to 2014 to be consistent. Here it is at a mediocre #68. Happy, Ryan the Jerk?

 

august-osage-county-dvd-cover-24
A mediocre move appearing here only to placate the pedantic Mr Garcia

69 LAND HO

One man show. Not an actor. Just an awesome old man!

 

70 HERCULES

Good dumb fun. Wish this would have succeeded. I would have seen a sequel.

 

71 PENGUINS OF MADAGASCAR

Meh

 

72 BATTERED BASTARDS OF BASEBALL

Charming. Pretty much the median film I saw this year.

 

Everything below was to the left of the bell curve. Still some good movies left though!

 

73 IVORY TOWER

Good subject matter; didn’t relate to people picked to act as the narrative

 

74 JODOROWSKY’S DUNE

Bizarre but I loved this passion of Jodorowsky

75 MAGIC IN THE MOONLIGHT

Don’t know why this wasn’t better…

 

MOONLIGHT
Think she’s is saying “Stay away, Woody. Unlike Scarlet, I am NOT interested in you!”

76 3 DAYS TO KILL

Costner was great this year!

 

77 DRAFT DAY

Costner is again charming but the plot was not believable

 

78 MONUMENT MEN Wasn’t as dreadful as the critic who put it in the Bottom 10 indicate. It was a disappointment relative to what it could have been, but it was entirely mediocre.

 

79 NIGHT MOVES

Slow but intriguing.

80 ONLY LOVERS LEFT ALIVE

Slow but beautiful

 

only_lovers_left_alive_ver4_xlg
Hiddleston for the ladies!

81 JOE

Well shot film in which Nicholas Cage shows some surprising subtlety

 

82 ROVER

Pretty and well-made but slow and tedious. Clever ending brings it up.

 

83 NO NO

Not enough interest

 

84 WOMEN AREN’T FUNNY

Would’ve been funnier if made by a man. I kid. I kid.

<<>>

 

85 NON-STOP

Great fun but check your brain at the door

 

86 THE OTHER WOMAN

Nice rental

 

87 THEY CAME TOGETHER

Uneven farce.

 

88 DIVERGENT

Passable YA Thriller

 

89 WE COULD BE KING

Nice story but the narrative was off

 

90 MILLION DOLLAR ARM

Nice cast. Too condescending to Indians for my taste.

91 NEIGHBORS

Midtier funny movie

 

NEIGHBORS
Rogen plays a grownup. Biggest stretch of his life!

 

92 TMNT

Eh…it was Ok

 

93 JERSEY BOYS

Like watching Terminal directed by Spielberg, I wondered “Why did we need Eastwood for this?”

 

94 GODZILLA

Cranston was the only good thing about this forgettable blockbuster attempt

 

95 ROBOCOP

Ok but I don’t remember anything but Michael Keaton

96 DRACULA UNTOLD

Fun for what it was

 

DRACULA
Entirely adequate!

97 THE JUDGE

One too many or one two few rewrites. I cannot tell!

 

98 CESAR CHAVEZ

Too sentimental.

 

99 LISTEN UP PHILLIP

Weak Wes Anderson imitation

 

100 HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON

Not a $320M movie

 

101 BURT’S BUZZ

102 STARRING ADAM WEST

Want_Some_Adam_West_Penis_by_LeeRoberts
The Man is a Legend!

103 MISSION BLUE

104 ELAINE STRITCH: JUST SHOOT ME

Quirky eccentrics featured in docs.

 

105 ALEXANDER AND THE HORRIBLE…

Carrell saved this from being a trainwreck

 

106 MUPPETS MOST WANTED

Discount bounce. Not that good, but I paid $2

 

107 LUCY

1/2 a good movie. I remember thinking during the second half that this movie would have been great if someone like Luc Besson had directed it. Then the ending credits reminded me why this was not true.

 

108 JACK RYAN

Costner was the only thing good. He really gave several strong performances this year. Following his great turn as Pa Kent last year in Man of Steel, I am back on the Costner bandwagon.

 

109 SPIDERMAN 2

A big letdown given the quality of the first one. Tells you how high the bar has been raised with Superhero flicks. Andrew Garfield is not the problem.

spiderman_2_doc_t_L
We didn’t even care enough to use the right Spiderman 2 poster…

110 MR PEABODY & SHERMAN

Cute but mediocre.

 

111 LET’S BE COPS

Surprisingly fun. Only saw because of the show time.

 

112 IN YOUR EYES

Joss Whedon has ONE thing that I like: Avengers movies. I was watching this thinking, this could’ve been better with a good screenwriter, only to learn Whedon wrote it.

 

113 SEX TAPE

Passable iTunes rental

 

114 THINK LIKE A MAN TOO

Passable iTunes rental

 

115 HALF OF A YELLOW SUN

Hard book (one of my faves) to translate and it shows

 

116 LOCKE

Boring but well-acted

117 RIDE ALONG

I would like to see the talented Kevin Hart have a good script. I think he is the heir apparent to Eddie Murphy, but I want to see his Trading Places.

 

ride along
Even these awesome guys couldn’t save a weak, cliche script

118 DUMB AND DUMBER TO

Exactly what I expected

 

119 CITIZEN KOCH

Just because I agree doesn’t mean it’s a good doc.

 

120 TINY

This was a neat concept but it could have been covered in one small segment on Dateline or 60 Minutes

 

121 THE DOG

Unlikably Unlikable

 

122 TAMMY

Beneath the talents of a wonderfully funny lady

 

123 BLENDED

Actually spoke to me a time or two but otherwise a typical Sandler farce.

 

124 THE GIVER

Gave me Narcolepsy

 

125 FRANK

Jenny fave Michael Fassbender gets partial credit for trying but failing

fassbender-frank
So THAT’S what they meant when they said Fassbender has a thick head!

 

 

BOTTOM 20

The films that aspired to be the worst 20 films of someone who saw a LOT of movies this year deserve extra damnation. Check out more on these painful atrocities against mankind in my worst of write up.

ida
Ida movie you should avoid in 2014!

 

126 IN SECRET

127 THAT AWKWARD MOMENT

128 300 RISE OF AN EMPIRE

129 IF I STAY

130 ENEMY

131 RIO 2

132 NUTJOB

133 TRANCENDENCE

134 SERIAL KILLER CULTURE

135 THE CONGRESS

136 TRANSFORMERS

137 EARTH TO ECHO

138 I, FRANKENSTEIN

139 SABOTAGE

140 SIGNAL

141 THE MACHINE

142 VAMPIRE ACADEMY

143 PING PONG SUMMER

144 UNDER THE SKIN

145 IDA

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