Expand the Best Acting Categories to Ten Nominations? No, Thank You!

You Get an Oscar! YOU Get an Oscar! YOU GET AN OSCAR! Sorry…. not you, Leonardo DiCaprio….

Peter Hammond of Deadline.com poses the question, “Should there be 10 slots for the acting categories?”  In all fairness to Mr. Hammond, who is quite astute in his assessment of the field, he does acknowledge that readers will come after him for his opinion.  It almost makes me want to avoid criticizing him, as I appreciate self-awareness.

Almost…

This is a DREADFUL idea.  Look, I am as hippie liberal as the next Austinite (Texas really DOES hate us!).  I love that my kids get trophies just for finishing the Tee Ball season.  My favorite Marx Brother is Karl.  Hell, I even know what wine pairing accompanies each different segment on NPR.

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Oh, my! A White Zinfandel? I’m afraid that is only good for CarTalk!

But if you bring the “everyone wins” nonsense….err…philosophy to the Oscar nominating process, then Sarah Palin starts to really make sense to me!!!

palin
Just Kidding!

I already despise that there are “up to” ten Best Picture nominees.  Sure, I wanted to see the Dark Knight nominated.  Sure, I like seeing Up and Toy Story 3 get a nod.  But those films should be in the top five of their year already; not just given a courtesy nod because we gamed the rules.

Hey.  I know it is tough to exclude someone from nomination who puts in an amazing performance, but if five other folks beat you out, then you should have to settle for watching that amazing performance on DVD and screaming “I coulda been a contender!” at the top of your lungs.

waterfront75
I ain’t crying. I won TWICE! Take THAT, DiCaprio!

To quote Tom Hanks from A League of Their Own, “It’s supposed to be hard. If it wasn’t hard everyone would do it. The hard is what makes it great.”  Let’s not dilute the honor of a highly competitive award just because we think others were strong as well.  That is why “Academy Award Nominee” under someone’s name in the trailer of a movie means something special.  That’s why “Academy Award Winner” means even more!

jamie foxx
Jamie Foxx. Academy Award Winning Star of Booty Call.

But because I don’t want to blast Hammond without walking a mile in his moccasins, here are the five nominees in each category from someone (sure, I’m an asshole) who can make the tough choices!

BEST ACTOR:

  • Michael Keaton, Birdman
  • Eddie Redmayne, Theory of Everything
  • Benedict Cumberbatch, Imitation Game
  • Ralph Fiennes, Grand Budapest Hotel
  • Jake Gyllenhal, Nightcrawler
  • Hurt to Leave Off:  David Oyelowo (Selma), Steve Carell (Foxcatcher), Ellar Coltrane (Boyhood)

BEST ACTRESS:

  • Julianne Moore, Still Alice
  • Reese Witherspoon, Wild
  • Felicity Jones, Theory of Everything
  • Roasmund Pike, Gone Girl
  • Marion Cottiliard, Two Days, One Night
  • Hurt to Leave Off:  Jennifer Anniston (Cake), Amy Adams (Big Eyes), Shailene Woodley (Fault In Our Stars…surprisingly)

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS:

  • Patricia Arquette, Boyhood
  • Meryl Streep, Into the Woods….and because she got out of bed this morning.
  • Rene Russo, Nightcrawler
  • Emma Stone, Birdman
  • Laura Dern, Wild
  • Hurt to Leave Off: Keira Knightley (Imitation Game), Tilda Swinton (Snowpiercer), Jessica Chastain (A Most Violent Year)

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR:

  • JK Simmons, Whiplash
  • Edward Norton, Birdman
  • Ethan Hawke, Boyhood
  • Mark Ruffalo, Foxcatcher
  • Miyavi (Unbroken)
  • Hurt to Leave Off: Really no one because JK Simmons is such a dominant candidate, there should only be one nomination.  We’d really love to nominate Leonardo DiCaprio just so he could NOT win another Oscar!
leocrying
First Marlon Brando.  Now Watson.  Everybody is so mean!

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